It's been over 2 years being back working a dentist after having my little girl... and I thought it might be getting easier...
What does my Week look like?
Currently, my working week does change from week to week depending on work commitments as well as available childcare! I've had to be adaptable to find something that works for my family, as well as where I work on top of being sustainable for me and not burning out!
I currently hold a few roles that include:
- Consultant in Special Care Dentistry - this is an employed role where I technically work 3.5 days condensed into 3 days. I've been able to adapt my job plan to allow me to work longer days as well as swapping a Saturday once a month for a weekday, which helps with childcare
- Clinical Director of a Dental Charity - this is a 1 day a week employed role, but since it is non-clinical I can split these hours up as to when I can with childcare, or occasionally I will need to go to an event or run a clinic.
- Locum Domiciliary Dentist - this I do ad hoc, usually once a month when I can get childcare. As a locum I don't have a fixed commitment, but offer days as and when I can
- Deputy Chair of a Managed Clinical Network - we have regular meetings as a MCN throughout the year which I do at lunchtimes and on my non-working days
The Challenges of being a Working Mum
1. Where am I going to get Childcare today?
Yes, my daughter is in nursery 3 days a week, but for other work commitments (not to mention if I try to plan any social events!), it can be juggling act of seeing who can look after my little one. We are very lucky to have a network of family around us (they do say it takes a village!) as well as a regular and reliable babysitter.
2. Will I get back in time for Pick-Up?
Gone are the days where running a little late in the afternoon or getting stuck in traffic on the commute home have no consequences: being late to pick-up my daughter from nursery in particular is a huge anxiety for me and means I need to leave work on time on the my pick up days!
3. Mum Guilt!
The rare times she says 'no Mama, stay at home!' when trying to take her to nursery, for leaving her overnight with others for work commitments, to asking family members to have her for a few hours. Until you're a parent, the mum, or parent guilt probably doesn't mean that much, but once you have responsibility for a little person, it creeps in every day! Guilty for not always being 100% present with her, guilty for being at work away from her, guilt you're not doing good enough for her.
4. I'm so TIRED!
There's no wonder most nights I am in bed by half 9! Even after a good nights sleep, a productive day, an efficient bedtime routine, being a working mum is the most tired I have ever been. Let alone if we have an unsettled night with her, or one of us are sick.
I think it's down to the constant 'to do' list in my head from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep. Getting 2 people ready in the mornings, drop-offs, full days at work, rushing home for pick-ups, evening routines with dinner, bathtime, and bed - then trying to squeeze a couple of hours of work or life admin in! It's go go go - no wonder I'm exhausted!
5. She's sick again!
Having a toddler in nursery is like having an infectious sponge living with you - soaking up every virus and illness humanly possible and bringing it home to share with the family!
Especially in winter, or when she was younger it felt like every month she'd have a snotty nose and you'd have the anxiety of phone calls from nursery asking you to come pick her up early. This would result in your guessed it, mum guilt - she's sick again how can I make her feel better, how are work going to react if I can't come in today because I need to look after her. And not only that, when the illness is passed on to us adults, it then incapacitates us for a few days (always worse than what she had it!)
How I Survive... ish
1. Asking for Help
Not just to relation to childcare for work, but also trying to find time for myself and to spend time with my partner. We moved closer to our family after we had our daughter, and I am so thankful we did to have our village of family and friends close by!
2. Resting
After busy weeks, I always try to have a calmer time, maybe booking some time off or scheduling working from home days in order to recover. I used to also spend most evenings after bedtimes on my laptop catching up with work, or doing some life admin - but now more often than not you'll find me catching up on my latest Netflix show, reading my book or just trying to relax with some quiet time.
3. Having Understanding Colleagues
Something I am very thankful for are my colleagues in my various roles and their understanding and kindness when it comes to being a working mum. Many are or have been working parents which is so helpful as they can understand the challenges and difficulties of the balance - particularly when things are not going to plan like when someone in the household is sick!
There have been some occasions when my daughter was smaller that I've even taken her into work or work events and everyone has always been so accommodating!
4. Enjoying Mother-Daughter and Family Time
I always schedule some time in the week for just me and my daughter as well as together as a family. I don't want to miss out on her growing up and whether we go out on a adventure or activity, sit at home and play or just go for a walk, I use this time to bond with her and our family.
5. Routine
Having a routine in the week and across the day can really help give me headspace, so I'm not constantly thinking what to do next or where am I going. Sometimes this isn't always possible, but children respond well to routines too and there's nothing more important in any parents life than a good sleep routine!! (in my opinion anyway).
Working mums and parents out there... what challenges do you face and how do you overcome them? Let me know in the comments below!
